When your life is, like, not that coherent
I want to implement a Charlotte Mason education with my children, but there are so many of them, old and young, and it all seems so overwhelming: HOW?
In all honesty, there is probably not one evergreen one-size-fits-all answer. But it's true that the number of moving parts in a CM education – the two strands of history, the multiple books for geography and science, all the various "riches" that need to be built in somehow – can overwhelm even the clearest of minds and the stoutest of hearts. The idea of getting all that up and running, with a kindergartener, a third grader, a fifth grader, a middle-schooler, maybe even a high-school student in the mix, is enough to make anybody reach for the textbooks and workbooks and just get through.
I'd like to reassure you that this kind of education IS doable. More than that, it's worth the effort of doing. What most people find is that the effort is in the planning and visualizing, more than in the doing: day to day, once you are up and running, the actual school day can be pretty streamlined, precisely because you aren't doing all those textbooks, workbooks, study questions, and so on. The core of your day is reading and narration, which is simple and requires no extra "curriculum."
Still, you may say, that's a lot of books to juggle. And you would not be wrong. Here, then, are some thoughts about how to train yourself to juggle, starting small.
1. Try starting everyone out, to the greatest extent possible, in the same "year" or "level" of your program.
If you have high-school students, this might not be entirely possible, but more about that in another post.
Meanwhile, people tend to disagree about whether it's easier, or more beneficial, to have everyone in the same cycle of history at the same time, or not: Charlotte Mason's schools did this, and it's sometimes workable at home, and sometimes not. I have had children combined and in separate levels at various times, and have wound up agnostic on this question. Sometimes it works to have people together, or at least one master plan for everybody. Sometimes it's easier, and also meets more needs in the family, to give children their own level or year. Year to year, you do have to balance the needs of your family overall, and your own limitations, against each child's individual educational needs, which can be difficult in a large family, but necessary. This is *each child's* education. Your planning does have to account for each child, and ensure that no child is going to fall through cracks.
Still, when you're just starting out, combining everyone as much as possible gives you a chance to find a rhythm. You're not committed to having everyone always together, and next year you might opt to roll people out into their own levels or years, because you'll have found a groove and can manage that. But for this first year, a one-room schoolhouse approach can help you keep it in the road.
2. In planning your day, think in terms of youngest to oldest.
Still, when you're just starting out, combining everyone as much as possible gives you a chance to find a rhythm. You're not committed to having everyone always together, and next year you might opt to roll people out into their own levels or years, because you'll have found a groove and can manage that. But for this first year, a one-room schoolhouse approach can help you keep it in the road.
2. In planning your day, think in terms of youngest to oldest.
You'll have to experiment to find a sequence for your day that works with the children and personalities in your house, but as a general principle, touching base with the youngest child first, and moving up the chain, is a good move. It can work to start the day with free time or some independent pleasure reading for older children (I had one daughter who liked to listen to audiobooks and knit to start her day), while you nurse the baby and read a picture book or two with your toddler and/or preschooler and/or kindergartener and/or first grader, then spend ten minutes doing reading instruction and some very simple math with your kindergartener or first grader, BEFORE the official start of your school day.
That way, you've DONE what you really needed to do with the youngest children (and your reading and math lesson benefit from the pressure to remain really short, because you know you've got to move on). They are free to listen in to the reading you do with the older school-age children, but if they wander off, fine. Youngest children need the least in the way of actual academics, but are also the people most apt to fall through the cracks while you're hustling everybody else through things they need to do, then hauling everybody around to music lessons and soccer practice. I used to refer to my youngest children, as a category, as The Kids in Car Seats. If you start your day with half an hour devoted to The Kids in Car Seats, then you can reassure yourself that they're The Kids in Car Seats Who Have Received Some Love and Attention. It doesn't always take much to meet their needs, but you do have to remember, and plan, to do it.
Independent reading, by the way, for any child who CAN read fluently to him- or herself, is your best crowd-management tool. Audiobooks are good for this function as well. Quite simply: you buy yourself time to work with children who can't work independently, which could be anybody up to and including third grade (and sometimes beyond), by PLANNING and having available independent reading and audiobooks for children who need to be doing something while you are working with their younger siblings. You don't have to ask them to narrate this kind of reading or listening or otherwise hold them accountable for it, but put it on a checklist, with directions, to make clear to them what you expect them to be doing while you are doing math/reading/copywork with younger children who need direct supervision. Repeat these directions daily: "If you are waiting for Mom, then you should be reading a book from your free-reading list (have specific titles on that list, and put that selection of books in a bin for that particular child) until you are called for the next thing." Eventually this will just become a habit, and you'll be able to say, "All right, older kids, go read until I call you," and they just will.
Another thought: There are schools of thought that argue against beginning math with children in grades 1-3. I think that's honestly valid, and that if something has to go to make your life work, I would vote for early-primary math, at least as formal lessons. Instead, let them shop and cook with you, and play board games that involve rolling dice.
Let them count three boxes of macaroni into the shopping cart, then five more, and tell you how many. (or organic bundles of kale, or whatever the heck you shop for – just let them count them in, take some out, add and subtract, etc).
Let them count the cups of flour in your sourdough. Show them half and whole on the measuring cup.
My kid who's currently completing a postgraduate degree in neuroscience learned to add and subtract by rolling the dice when we played Monopoly when he was 5 and 6.
So if you need to, don't hesitate to consider math as a subject you can unschool, particularly with children in the lower-primary years.
3. Divide your day into blocks.
I have never been good, myself, at schedules tied to particular times, like "9:00-9:30: math lesson." On the other hand, over time, with a lot of trial-and-error, I did become better at general routines, and at thinking in terms of chunks of time during which certain things would be going on, even if the times themselves were sort of flexible.
I think it's a good thing to OVERestimate the amount of time a given task or sequence of tasks is going to take. Then, if things don't take that much time, you are pleasantly surprised to be proceeding in a leisurely way to the next thing, instead of stressing out because you should be doing the next thing but are still mired down in the current thing. In the beginning, too – contra what's true for a classroom teacher – I think it's better to under-plan than to try to cram too many things into a day. Privilege free time, not tasks, in your planning.
So let's say you have little children who need direct attention, and older children who can read on their own, AND you want to combine your school-aged children for core subjects, at least.
You might "chunk" your day in the following ways:
Block 1: wake up, breakfast, hygiene tasks, chores, whatever you need to do to start the day. Give yourself more time than you imagine that this will take: say, an hour. Give enough time for people to go outside and run around a little before the school day starts, with the standing instruction that they are to come in when you call them. Give enough time for this to be a little chaotic in the beginning, and, again, to take more time than you think it will take.
Block 2: little-kid time (a prayer with just them, picture books, any reading or math instruction for a K or first-grader, lasting no more than 10 minutes TOTAL), while older children have quiet reading (or reading and handiwork, or audiobooks and legos, or audiobooks and handiwork, whatever works for a given child or set of children).
Again, give yourself PLENTY OF TIME. Your older kids can read or listen as long as they need to. If each child has a list of choices for reading or other quiet activity for this time, then you can be leisurely with your little children. Again, write this down, on a list, in a spiral notebook, whatever. Your goal here is for older children not to be wandering around with nothing to do, and not to be coming to you to ask what to do. That will burn you out before the first week is over. It's worth putting some serious time and thought on the front end into planning reading and activity options for each child for this time block, so that you have an inexhaustible supply of ideas for the entire year and don't even have to think about what you're going to put on that checklist each week.
3. Divide your day into blocks.
I have never been good, myself, at schedules tied to particular times, like "9:00-9:30: math lesson." On the other hand, over time, with a lot of trial-and-error, I did become better at general routines, and at thinking in terms of chunks of time during which certain things would be going on, even if the times themselves were sort of flexible.
I think it's a good thing to OVERestimate the amount of time a given task or sequence of tasks is going to take. Then, if things don't take that much time, you are pleasantly surprised to be proceeding in a leisurely way to the next thing, instead of stressing out because you should be doing the next thing but are still mired down in the current thing. In the beginning, too – contra what's true for a classroom teacher – I think it's better to under-plan than to try to cram too many things into a day. Privilege free time, not tasks, in your planning.
So let's say you have little children who need direct attention, and older children who can read on their own, AND you want to combine your school-aged children for core subjects, at least.
You might "chunk" your day in the following ways:
Block 1: wake up, breakfast, hygiene tasks, chores, whatever you need to do to start the day. Give yourself more time than you imagine that this will take: say, an hour. Give enough time for people to go outside and run around a little before the school day starts, with the standing instruction that they are to come in when you call them. Give enough time for this to be a little chaotic in the beginning, and, again, to take more time than you think it will take.
Block 2: little-kid time (a prayer with just them, picture books, any reading or math instruction for a K or first-grader, lasting no more than 10 minutes TOTAL), while older children have quiet reading (or reading and handiwork, or audiobooks and legos, or audiobooks and handiwork, whatever works for a given child or set of children).
Again, give yourself PLENTY OF TIME. Your older kids can read or listen as long as they need to. If each child has a list of choices for reading or other quiet activity for this time, then you can be leisurely with your little children. Again, write this down, on a list, in a spiral notebook, whatever. Your goal here is for older children not to be wandering around with nothing to do, and not to be coming to you to ask what to do. That will burn you out before the first week is over. It's worth putting some serious time and thought on the front end into planning reading and activity options for each child for this time block, so that you have an inexhaustible supply of ideas for the entire year and don't even have to think about what you're going to put on that checklist each week.
Once you have spent this time with your younger children (and again, this is anybody up to and possibly including kindergarten), they're finished for the day and free to play. Of course, they won't go away . . . they'll be around, the whole time you're working with older kids. If you need to designate an older child at a time to have an eye on a self-destructing toddler, you might need to do that. I will admit to having zero memory of what my toddlers were doing when I was doing school with my older children. I know they were there. I know it probably wasn't quiet. But . . . as with childbirth . . . the amnesia is intense.
On the other hand, although your mileage may vary, and I'm sure mine did, younger children are, overall, LIKELIER to be happier and to settle down better to their own pursuits around the (well childproofed, safe) house and yard, which offer them plenty to do on their own, when you have spent time with them first. They tend to be less satisfied when they feel that they're just sort of hanging around the edges all the time, but never the center of your attention. They might act up anyway, but they almost certainly WILL act up if that's how they feel.
Let the standing direction to the older kids be that you'll call them when it's time to gather.
Block 3: Gathering. Again, give yourself a generous amount of time, and assume that especially in the beginning, it's going to take more time than you think for everyone to come together and settle down. Things that can happen in this block:
*copywork (I often liked to begin with copywork because it got everyone sitting down and focused, providing a good transition into the formal day. I usually played some classical music while they wrote, which again helped signal a mood shift in the household)
Let the standing direction to the older kids be that you'll call them when it's time to gather.
Block 3: Gathering. Again, give yourself a generous amount of time, and assume that especially in the beginning, it's going to take more time than you think for everyone to come together and settle down. Things that can happen in this block:
*copywork (I often liked to begin with copywork because it got everyone sitting down and focused, providing a good transition into the formal day. I usually played some classical music while they wrote, which again helped signal a mood shift in the household)
*math with younger school-aged kids while you have them sitting down. Five to ten minutes max for first graders, maybe as long as 15 for a second grader. On the front end, less is more. Do NOT do math for longer than their attention holds. ONE problem done well is worth far more than five problems done sloppily with inattention. If you are just starting out with children in grades 1-3, in the beginning, five minutes for math is PLENTY.
**At this point we usually moved from the kitchen table to the couch. You want to give yourself ample time to make what will seem to you a very small transition. Tell yourself: No Transition Is Small. Give yourself plenty of time, so you're not impatient and yelling at people to sit down already.
One thing I learned about timing, incidentally, through seven years as the First Communion catechist in my parish, was that it takes a LONG time for thirty second graders to turn a page in a book. Having previously taught high school and college, I was not prepared for the reality of second grade, but I'm here to tell you: with younger elementary students, all kinds of things that are automatic to you are not at all automatic to them. Be prepared.
Once settled on the couch, we had:
*family prayers and singing
*reading aloud, generally a maximum of three books: one religion reading, one history (either national or world), one other reading (usually science or geography). These readings are narrated.
Block 4: Lunch and quiet time, which can include more reading aloud, and also one-on-one time with older children for things like math, which they might do independently while you're working one-on-one with younger students.
*family prayers and singing
*reading aloud, generally a maximum of three books: one religion reading, one history (either national or world), one other reading (usually science or geography). These readings are narrated.
Block 4: Lunch and quiet time, which can include more reading aloud, and also one-on-one time with older children for things like math, which they might do independently while you're working one-on-one with younger students.
I often liked to read aloud over lunch: a classic novel, poetry, fable, myth or fairy tale, Shakespeare, in some kind of rotation with a different reading every day. If you can't read over lunch (you do have to eat sometime!), then make the period right after lunch a family down-time, during which very small children nap or are in their rooms, maybe after another picture book, and then you could do a literature read-aloud with older children (who maybe do the after-lunch cleanup and other chores while you are reading to little ones and putting them down for naps).
This is another time when their independent reading/activity lists can come into effect – your standing instruction can be When you finish your after-lunch chores, read or do (whatever quiet handiwork things) until Mom is ready to read to you. Come when she calls you. Maybe check/do math first with each child, for no more than 20 minutes of direct time each, then a fairly short read-aloud session before moving on to free time.
Block 5: Afternoon free time. Try to keep it screen-free, and to push children outside, and go out with them, as much as possible. This block can be as long as you need it to be, and include dinner prep. One thing we did a lot in the afternoons after school, as a no-tv family, was put on audiobooks, which the kids listened to while they played with blocks or legos or other quiet, imaginative hands-on toys. This is an especially good strategy in the winter, or for any days with bad weather when you might not be spending as much time outside. Audiobooks my children listened to obsessively, over and over, included Treasure Island, Enid Blyton's Famous Five mysteries, a couple of the British Biggles series narrated by Michael Palin, a collection of Beverly Cleary novels including Emily's Runaway Imagination, which was a huge favorite, many E. Nesbit stories, a dramatized Winnie-the-Pooh with Stephen Fry and Judi Dench . . . the list goes on.
Block 6: Dinner and after: baths, bedtime reading (another opportunity for literature, historical fiction, etc), prayers. Again, however long you need . . .
Ultimately, you'll have to adjust things so that they work for you – you might make lunch your "Block 3," if you are a later-rising family and don't have as much morning time. You can shift things around any way you like. There's no particular virtue in following a "traditional" 8-3 school day, no particular virtue in getting up earlier rather than later . . . you have to figure out how YOU manage best, with the personality you have, and the personalities you have in your children. Set yourself up to succeed on your own terms.
In Part Two of this "Getting Started" series, we'll look at what, actually, in specific terms, might go in those blocks, if you're starting a Charlotte Mason education with a wide range of ages and a large number of children.
What, actually, will you do? That's the question we'll answer next.
This is another time when their independent reading/activity lists can come into effect – your standing instruction can be When you finish your after-lunch chores, read or do (whatever quiet handiwork things) until Mom is ready to read to you. Come when she calls you. Maybe check/do math first with each child, for no more than 20 minutes of direct time each, then a fairly short read-aloud session before moving on to free time.
Block 5: Afternoon free time. Try to keep it screen-free, and to push children outside, and go out with them, as much as possible. This block can be as long as you need it to be, and include dinner prep. One thing we did a lot in the afternoons after school, as a no-tv family, was put on audiobooks, which the kids listened to while they played with blocks or legos or other quiet, imaginative hands-on toys. This is an especially good strategy in the winter, or for any days with bad weather when you might not be spending as much time outside. Audiobooks my children listened to obsessively, over and over, included Treasure Island, Enid Blyton's Famous Five mysteries, a couple of the British Biggles series narrated by Michael Palin, a collection of Beverly Cleary novels including Emily's Runaway Imagination, which was a huge favorite, many E. Nesbit stories, a dramatized Winnie-the-Pooh with Stephen Fry and Judi Dench . . . the list goes on.
Block 6: Dinner and after: baths, bedtime reading (another opportunity for literature, historical fiction, etc), prayers. Again, however long you need . . .
Ultimately, you'll have to adjust things so that they work for you – you might make lunch your "Block 3," if you are a later-rising family and don't have as much morning time. You can shift things around any way you like. There's no particular virtue in following a "traditional" 8-3 school day, no particular virtue in getting up earlier rather than later . . . you have to figure out how YOU manage best, with the personality you have, and the personalities you have in your children. Set yourself up to succeed on your own terms.
In Part Two of this "Getting Started" series, we'll look at what, actually, in specific terms, might go in those blocks, if you're starting a Charlotte Mason education with a wide range of ages and a large number of children.
What, actually, will you do? That's the question we'll answer next.
Also of interest: